Let this be a lesson to all the undergrads who think they should get part marks for having a correct answer: In a mental hospital, three patients are up for release. The Doctor decides to give them a test. He turns to the first guy and asks, “What is three times three?” “274,” the guy …
10. It’s Fermat’s birthday 9. I didn’t know whether “i” is the square root of -1 or “i” is the square root of -1. 8. I accidentally divided by 0 and my paper burst into flames. 7. I had too much pie and got sick. 6. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. …
Jokes: Top 10 excuses for not doing your homework! Read More »
Proof by vigorous handwaving: Works well in a classroom or seminar setting. Proof by forward reference: Reference is usually to a forthcoming paper of the author, which is often not as forthcoming as at first. Proof by funding: How could three different government agencies be wrong? Proof by example: The author …
Written by: Denis Gannon (to the tune of “Oh, Christmas Tree”) Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, How tough are both your branches. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, To pass what are my chances? Derivatives I cannot take, At integrals my fingers shake. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, How tough are both your branches. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, Your …
Q: What’s nutritious and commutes?An Abelian soup. Q: What’s hot, chunky, and acts on a polygon?Dihedral soup. Q: What’s sour, yellow, and equivalent to the axiom of choice?Zorn’s lemon. Q: What is brown, furry, runs to the sea, and is equivalent to the axiom of choice?Zorn’s lemming.Q: What do you get if you cross a …
Once upon a time, (1/T) pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling through a field of vectors when she came to the edge of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had …
Funny Joke – The Integration of Pretty Little Polly Nomial Read More »
CLEARLY: I don’t want to write down all the “in-between” steps.TRIVIAL: If I have to show you how to do this, you’re in the wrong class.OBVIOUSLY: I hope you weren’t sleeping when we discussed this earlier because I refuse to repeat it.RECALL: I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but for those of you who …
Dictionary of Definitions of Terms Used in Math Lectures Read More »
Q: What’s purple and commutes?An Abelian grape. Q: What is purple and all of its offspring have been committed to institutions?A simple grape, it has no normal subgraphs. Q: What is lavender and commutes?An Abelian semigrape.Q: What’s purple, commutes, and is worshipped by a limited number of people?A finitely-venerated Abelian grape. Q: What’s purple, round, …
10) e is easier to spell than pi. 9) Pie without e just doesn’t taste that good. 8) The character for e can be found on a keyboard, but pi sure can’t. 7) Everybody fights for their piece of the pie. 6) ln(pi) is a really nasty number, but ln(e) = 1. 5) e is …
It can’t contain itself.