Written by: Denis Gannon (to the tune of "Oh, Christmas Tree")Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, How tough are both your branches. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, To pass what are my chances? Derivatives I cannot take, At integrals my fingers shake. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, How tough are both your branches.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, Your theorems I can't master. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, My Proofs are a disaster. You pull a trick out of the air, Or find a reason, God knows where. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, Your theorems I can't master. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, Your problems do distress me. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, Related rates depress me. I walk toward lampposts in my sleep, And running water makes me weep. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, Your problems do distress me. Oh, Calculus; Oh,Calculus, My limit I am reaching. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, For mercy I'm beseeching. My grades do not approach a B, They're just an epsilon from D. Oh, Calculus; Oh,Calculus, My limit I am reaching.