Yo momma so (nerdy ones)

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Boing Boing had a post titled “The Nerdy Dozens”, where on Xeni Jardin’s twitter account a bunch of very nerdy “yo momma” jokes appeared. A lot of these were hilarious, so to preserve the ingenuity I collected the most nerdiest ones. Kudos to those who came up with these! Starting with my favorites:

• Yo mamma so fat, China uses her to block the internet.
• Yo mama so fat pkzip can’t compress her.
• Yo momma so fat, it takes 5 warlocks to summon her.
• Yo momma so fat you gotta address her in 128 bit.
• Yo momma so fat they mapped her for Google street view.
• Yo momma so old she goes on carbon dates.
• Yo momma so stupid, she’s currently on a quest for the Head of Vecna.
• Your momma is so mean she stole the walrus’ bukkit and ate kitteh’s cheezburger.
• Yo momma so mean she has no standard deviation.

and some more…

• Yo momma so fat THX can’t even surround her.
• Yo momma so dumb, she went to the dentist and asked for a bluetooth.
• Yo momma so stupid, she thinks the Large Hadron Collider is a gay porn film.
• Yo momma’s so big and ugly she lies dreaming in R’lyeh.
• Yo momma so fat she doesn’t just have a low center of gravity, she has an elliptical orbit.
• Yo momma so old, she’s an arguing point between Creationists and Evolutionists.
• Yo Momma so fat, even Ralph Lauren’s Photoshop team can’t help her ass.
• Yo momma so dense she got her own event horizon.
• Your momma is so fat NASA shot a rocket into her ass looking for water.
• Yo momma so weak physicists have unified her with electromagnetism.
• Yo momma so fat, she took geometry in high school just cause she heard there was gonna be some pi.
• Yo momma so fat, she bends light.
• Yo momma so big, Google ran out of pixels tryin to Street View her butt.
• Yo mama so fat, Stephen Hawking found three extra dimensions in her panties!
• Yo mama so dumb, she thinks the Lorenz-Fitzgerald contraction is what happened right before she had twins.
• Yo mama so FAT32, NTFS won’t even give her permission.
• Yer momma so dumb the Higgs Boson comes back in time to shut her mouth.
• Yo mama so dumb, she thinks steampunk is a buffet item.
• Yo mama so fat that her presence itself distort the space-time tapestry.
• Yo momma so fat, her Schwarzschild radius is that of the universe.
• Yo mama so fat, she emits Bekenstein-Hawking radiation (at least until she shrinks and dissipates…)
• Your mama’s so fat, when black holes see her, they shake their heads and travel in the opposite direction.
• Yo mama so fat her diet is Hawking Radiation.
• Yo mama so fat she changes the universal constant of gravitation.
• Yo mamma is so massive she has regular interactions with neutrinos.
• Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house she sits around all 10*10*16 multiversal instantiations of the house.
• Yo momma so fat, Han Solo sliced her open with a lasersaber and popped luke inside for warmth.
• Your momma is so fat NASA shot a rocket into her ass looking for water.
• Yo momma so fat, she engirdles the world, and has engendered Ragnorök.
• Yo momma so big and nasty, Al Gore’s afraid when she farts it’s gonna blow a new hole in the ozone layer.
• Yo momma so big, the Fail Whale sued her in Internet court for unlawful impersonation.
• Yo momma so fat, she took geometry in high school just cause she heard there was gonna be some pi.
• Yo momma so fat she doesn’t just have a low center of gravity, she has an elliptical orbit.
• Yo momma so Pi, she can’t be expressed accurately as a fraction.
• Yo momma’s so white she thinks Malcolm X is Malcolm the 10th.
• Yo momma’s so fat her laptop has a grease trap.
• Your momma’s so large, CERN plans to use her to track down the Higgs boson.
• Yo momma’s so big Falcon Heene tried to fly away in her.
• Yo momma so weak physicists have unified her with electromagnetism.
• Yo momma so dumb she think encryption is what happens when they bury you.
• Yo momma’s so big and ugly she lies dreaming in R’lyeh.
• Yo momma so sleazy, even Valleywag won’t link to her.
• Yo momma got such a big head, Ralph Lauren don’t even need to photoshop her.
• Yo momma so old, she’s an arguing point between Creationists and Evolutionist.
• Yo momma so round there’s a formula for calculating her volume.
• Yo momma so oily, America’s gonna invade her and set up a pipeline contract with Halliburton.
• Yo momma so ugly she made tubgirl run screamin and take a bath.
• Yo momma so dumb she thinks pluto is a planet.
• Yo momma so dumb, she thinks inbound links means eatin up hotdogs.
• Yo momma so dumb, she thinks the Singularity is what happens when you get divorced.
• Yo momma so skanky, not even /b/ would fap to her.
• Yo mama so big, she needs a multi-petabyte RAID array just to store her fat ass.
• Yo momma so dumb, she thought Google was her phone number. And you wonder why she don’t call.
• Yo mama so dumb, when you told her your laptop was from Apple, she bit right into it and thought the keys was seeds.
• Yo momma so stupid, when Google Wave, she waved right back.
• Yo momma’s so fat, when her iPhone beeps for an incoming txt, people think she’s a truck backin’ up.
• Yo momma so nasty Keyboard Cat furiously tried to play her off until its paws bled.
• Your mama’s so fat, when black holes see her, they shake their heads and travel in the opposite direction.
• Yo mama so stupid she waited for the Universal Serial Bus.
• Your mama is so fat, she expresses her dress size in scientific notation.
• Your mama is so old, she still has gills in her prom photo.
• Yo momma so fat, the ratio of her circumference to her diameter is four.