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In this post we learn all about the math behind low riding pants and how cool it really is.
I decided to do a study just to see what the relationship was. I interviewed 13,532 people and showed them each 6 pictures of people wearing low riding pants. I then asked them to select a “COOLNESS FACTOR” for each picture.
The ‘coolness factor’ works as follows:
0 = super dorky
1 = dorky
2 = average
3 = above average
4 = cool
5 = super cool!
After gathering all of my results and putting it into this complex mathematical program and calculating means and standard deviations and something to do with chi, I found the following results:
The results were amazing! I conclude that:
- the higher the pants, the more dorky you are
- pants at waistline level means the person is average
- pants that are super low make you super cool
By
the way, I paid the test group people in skittles, they really love
skittles for some reason. Afterwards, I also decided to show the test
group some pictures of myself with no pants on to see if they would rated it super duper cool.
This would fit the linear model that you can see in the picture above.
However, the reaction was pretty bad and most of them threw skittles at
me, thus I don’t have any data for those pictures.
No. That’s fucking stupid. It can’t be sarcastic, as lowriding IS cool. So, it must be serious…. I lowride less than the “average” guy, and that’s enough. It stops becoming cool and makes you fucking look like a prick. However, if you are being sarcastic , what the fuck? Just bloody let us get on with it.